My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
