reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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