dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
