meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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