like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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