Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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