So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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