Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize