ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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