Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
