K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just pee around me
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
