come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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