i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize