I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
