therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
