So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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