THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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