I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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