My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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