oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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