Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
