So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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