If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
