How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
