what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
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So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
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Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
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My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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