whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This baby is an asshole
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
