eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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