WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I think i got beer on your cat.
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