ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize