like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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