Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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