I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It happened again.
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
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The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house