Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
In America we eat man semen.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
