She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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