I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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