Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
