I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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