is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
