Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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