so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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