My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I wear drunk well.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
