Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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