He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I understand Curling. That high.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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