ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
