Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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