Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
