I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
