sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
