From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
