as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
