how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
