New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
