Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
