I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
