Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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