hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize