Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
