I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
