I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
