so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
