The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
