then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
