I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I have aggressive nipples.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
