And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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