I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
