i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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