Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
