I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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