Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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