we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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