you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
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For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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